To finish up my post about Saturday Night at the “fire” party…I left off at the point I #-closed HB-retroSAS. The fire had been put out, and the party was getting moving again. I thought Gee had split when he magically appeared out of nowhere. Our crew was again intact and we got back to business.
The J-Girl that Got Away
While #-closing HB-retroSAS, I noticed an adorable Asian girl standing near me. I **love** Asian girls, although recently I’m losing some interest because FOBS (Fresh off the boaters) are just too much damn work! I open her, and turns out she is Japanese (HBJapSkirt), so I say some things in Japanese. I then proceed to be a bit rude to her, telling her I’ll find her later as I’m busy right now. This probably wasn’t the smartest move on my part, but I was paranoid, unnecessarily so, that sarging two girls at once would ruin my chances with both. I know this to be untrue, yet when certain beliefs have been with you most of your life it’s hard to ignore them in the heat of the moment.
I find HBJapSkirt a few minutes later but she is not interested in talking to me. I probably came off as a bit too needy. Half an hour later, Comfort sees her and brings her over to me…I do better by DQ-ing, saying something like “Oh, this girl hates me…we don’t get along”. She laughed but didn’t hang around very long. She was very cute, HB8. I’d lost her though, and it was time to move on.
The night begins to get a bit blurry at this point, post 2am, a few more beers imbibed. I’m on the dance floor talking with HBPolish (HB7), running pretty much Juggler stuff. I scored points with asking her, 5 minutes in…”I like you, are you single.” She said something like “I’m not involved with anyone right now”, which I took as an encouraging response. Her friend was hovering about and interrupting our conversation, so I just played it cool and talked to some other girls. I was doing a lot of kino with HBPolish though, gradually escalating, putting my arm around her for example. Eventually I got bored and told her I’d find her later.
THANK YOU FOR THE MISTLETOE, Mr. AFC!
I was still looking for the HBJapSkirt…what can I say, I love Japanese girls and when they are wearing miniskirts I get really excited! In the kitchen, I start talking with a cute white girl, another HB7, let’s call her HBArtsy because she definitely had the creative thing going on. We were vibing quite well, and at some point I said something really eloquent…a very rare event…I expressed something about her art in **exactly** the way Juggler says you should, very vividly and descriptively. She looked at me intensely for a moment and then commented on the way I said it -- we had a bit of a moment looking at each other. It was a very memorable interaction, as though we suddenly felt alot closer to each other.
A few minutes later a guy comes by with some mistletoe and hangs it over the head of HBArtsy. I saw him doing this to girls earlier in the night, apparently this is the best he could come up with. She finally notices and he says “You have to kiss someone now.” She looks back at me and says “OK”, then walks up to me and plants one on my lips! No tongue unfortunately…but we were standing in a well-lit kitchen with plenty of people around. Still, NICE! It was great. The AFC dude eventually did get a sympathy kiss…otherwise it would have been really really sad.
HBArtsy and I really hit it off, but I did not #-close her!! I am having good moments but they are inconsistent, and I started to play her too cautiously, thinking she’ll be around later and I could close her then. No No No…mistake! Strike when you have the chance! The 3-second rule is gold, and a good corollary is to close when you can, take advantage of every opportunity.
Real Dance Floor *-close, but could have been more?
It was getting close to 3am and my energy reserves were running low. My brief nap before dinner was not enough to cover my intense workout earlier that day. I decided to find HBPolish, get her #, and split.
I find her on the dance floor, tell her I’m heading home, and something like "I like you and want your number." She is hesitating. I do some kino, and then suddenly, as if some magnetic field sprang up between us, we just move toward each other and start kissing. (Yes, this time there was tongue!) At this risk of sounding sappy, I will say it was quite romantic. I pulled back for a few seconds, then re-initiated to test whether it was a fluke or for real…she reciprocated so it was the real deal. We continued this mini-makeout for about a minute, and yet she was still hesitant to give me her number. WTF??! Chicks are bizarre. I did get it eventually, and left with Comfort. My second big mistake of the night? I probably could have pulled this girl home. It would not have been easy but I was well down that path with her. Doh!
Thus ended one of the best parties I have ever attended in Seattle. Well, it ended for me, I think the party went on pretty much all night. Seattle needs more of these kind of parties. You don’t really need much game, pretty much just go, drink, dance, mingle, have fun and things will fall into place.
Score for the night: *-close:2, #-close:3 (should have been 4). My best night sarging to date.
SV
Monday, December 17, 2007
Day Game Failure Leads to Night Game Success
After some months of trying to get serious about practicing and upping my game, I may have finally turned a corner. About two weeks ago I started day gaming regularly, and inspired by the “Day Game Challenge” initiated by Priest (of Mystery’s Lounge fame), I went head-on direct to several girls last week. To be honest it was pretty nervewracking…it seems easy to me when I think about it, but once I spot a HB in Nordstroms or wherever and I have to actually walk up to her and say the words, it is anything but. That’s probably one reason why doing it had such a positive effect on my game in the last week.
FRIDAY -- A NIGHT AT THE OZZIE’S
The turning point started late Friday night in Ozzie’s, of all places. Comfort and I were getting on a good buzz at the bar. I had left to open one set indirect but got blown out pretty much. We were thinking of just heading home when Mike befriends a Brazilian guy who is getting a drink at the bar. He’s pretty cool so we talk soccer for a while. Two somewhat chunky tan girls then come up…they are Brazilian and friends of his. Maybe B5 rating or slightly more (bonus points for being from Brazil I suppose?). They aren’t really friendly so we don't waste time. I’m noticing, however, that a crowd is beginning to form around us. Not looking at us or anything, just like somehow we are a gravitational pull and drawing people toward us, including a 2-set standing right next to us…an obvious AI so I open.
They are also only about B5, so this is pure practice. Seattle being Seattle and given the M:F ratio in Ozzie’s, they have more attitude than their looks warrant. I’m doing Juggler method but after about three minutes I stall out, and sensing the blow out I just blurt out the first thought in my mind: “Well, I guess that’s the end of our interaction, because as you can see I have NO GAME.” They burst out laughing and I proceed to drag this DQ on for a while. They are basically telling me how I should game them and I’m following their instructions and questioning their tactics…it was quite fun and hysterical. As this is going on, two more Brazilian girls come in, HB8s at least. I hit another stall with the B5 2-set, and without saying a word, simply turn my back on them, toward the HB8, and say “Hi. I’m Sid.” She responds well and off we go.
I kino’d a lot, but them being foreign, techniques in the JM or MM don’t work as well. I figured this out too late but I really need to go more caveman on foreign girls in bars, they are much more receptive to it then your run-of-the-mill Seattle chick. I had her going for 5 minutes then stalled out. She went off to sing karaoke saying she’d be back but that was pretty much it. Overall it was a good night however.
SATURDAY -- PART 1
SALSA 101
I’m eating a late lunch at Whole Foods around 4pm when Gee calls me and we decide it’s going to be a salsa night. Minutes later I run into Comfort who is doing grocery shopping and he is in. He’s never danced but they have a lesson at 9 so that should be enough to get him into trouble.
I get home, and text about 7 girls who I know dance. None of them, not one bird, is free. They all have parties of some sort to go to. So, my plan of getting a big mixed group to go salsa dancing is looking more like a guy’s night out, but we will persevere. After waking from a nap I have a text message from a friend who fills me in at a private house party happening at a huge downtown condo that night. Actually it’s more like one floor of a condo building…they have live DJs and drinks all night so the night is looking up.
We hit Century Ballroom about 9pm. Comfort is doing the lesson and talking up the newbie girls. I’m sitting with Cooldude, drinking Corona, watching and waiting for the dance to begin. I spot a girl from one of my classes, receive a warm greeting and she asks me if I’ll teach her newbie guy friends the basic moves. Once the dancing starts, I dance with a few girls, and then I spot a train of about 6 Korean girls walking in like they own the place. Most of them are ugs, but there is one real hottie, I would say a true HB8 or close. When they come down from the coat check I grab her arm and ask her to dance…and she refuses and runs off! Girls rarely refuse dance invitations at CB, that’s kind of the whole point of being there. I’m a bit distraught and take a few minutes to gain my composure back, and then I decide I’m going to go straight in to her set and make something happen, not exactly knowing what. ☺
I walk over to HBJazzie and tell her this is her 2nd chance to dance with me. She is no less bitchy. I proceed into standard sarge mode and just begin to plow. We get into a conversation…turns out she doesn’t know any salsa and is just here to observe. In the next sentence she tells me she’s a semi-professional jazz dancer and I’m like “WTF girl you can pick this stuff up in minutes!” The conversation is steadily improving when I decide just to go for it:
SV: “Hey, I should get back to my friends soon, but I gotta tell you, I like you and I’d want to see you again. Would you give me your number?”
HBJazzie: “I don’t know, you’re probably just not going to call me, right?”
SV: “The truth is, I find you attractive, but I would like to know if there is more to you than meets the eye. I mean, we’ve talked for a few minutes and you seem interesting, even though you were quite rude at first”
HBJazzie: [starts laughing and gives me a big smile and pushes me away playfully]
THE PARTY THAT WAS ON FIRE -- LITERALLY
We decide to head to the house party about midnight. As we are walking up the stairs in this 1930s-something building, we hear the din of voices and…an accordion?? There is a guy playing an accordion in the hallway and we make our way past him to the bar. Lithuanian folklore says that spying an accordion player upon entry to a festival is a good omen, turns out that was pretty much on-the-mark.
SV: “Has anyone ever told you that you resemble a Swedish flight attendant circa 1960?? And, I mean that in the best possible way”
HB-retroSAS: [laughing] “Well, sir, how can I serve you on this flight.”
SV: “Hey, so assuming this is the big one, I figure it’s as good a time as any to ask for your number.”I hand her my phone and she types in her #. She then looks at it and says, “area code is 206”. At that moment a girl announces that the SFD has arrived, the fire is OUT and the party is ON. It’s about 1am, they crank up the music and people start dancing again. Apparently this sort of thing happens frequently at these parties.
HB-retroSAS: “Um…haha…I guess you’re right.”
Stay tuned for Part 2…it’s late and I got a dentist appt. tomorrow morning.
SV
ps—I was kidding about that Lithuanian folklore shit…you didn’t really believe me, did you??
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Update: Work, Hip-Hop Dancing, Zan
I realized it’s been about two weeks since my last post. A new contract job I started last week has eaten up a lot of my time, so I’m trying to wake up early and get a lot of stuff done before heading to work up in Bothell. BTW, the one advantage of a long car commute is that it actually frees up time to listen to CDs I’ve had lying around for a year, including a ton of David D interviews…but more on that later.
Game Status
I’m in the process of jump-starting my game once again. Basically, I just want to open, talk to strangers, male or female, and get my AA under control. Two weeks ago in Vancouver, I opened a tons of sets. Then I came back to Seattle and lost all the momentum. I hit Belltown last weekend both Friday and Saturday and opened some sets, none of them went stellar it helped my state, and I regained some momentum. Unfortunately I was also drinking which probably didn’t help matters. Sunday I did a half-dozen day-game sets, again nothing with great results. I know from experience though that’s how it goes in the beginning. Yesterday I opened a girl in this hip-hop dance class I’m taking (yes, you read that correctly…more on that later), then chatted up a Korean hired-gun at a local sushi place. I think this last girl hooked, and I probably could have #-closed her pretty solidly. I didn’t realize this until I left however, and in the midst of the sarge I couldn’t really navigate my way to a solid close. But, it was my best interaction via a (relatively) cold approach in a while, and she was pretty cute (the miniskirt didn’t hurt either).
Where are the Girls?? Taking Hip-Hop Dance Lessons!
So I’ve been taking this hip-hop dance class…on one level, it’s kind of ridiculous: I’m late 30s, and a guy, and here I am in this class with 2 other guys (early 20s I assume) and about 20 girls. Yes, you read that correctly, there is about a 10-to-1 girl to guy ratio in this class. Most of the girls are under 25. Holy leotard Batman! Basically, I enrolled for a couple reasons…one was to push my comfort zone (check), another was to actually learn some dance moves for when I’m at a club and doing dance-floor game (jury is out on this one) or if I actually end up fronting a band someday (a dream of mine), I figured it’d come in handy on-stage. Last night was class 3, and on the way out I talked to one of the girls. She “hooked” and we talked about dancing and salsa for a while, but I didn’t take the interaction as far as I could have (this is a SP…need to really push this to improve).
Anyone interested in taking a hip-hop class? Contact me…it’d be more fun with another community guy…we may look ridiculous, but HEY, we're talking a ratio of 10-to-1 girls to guys…kind of like a parallel-universe version of Amber!
Zan
Yesterday I was listening to the David D interview with Zan. I was quite impressed. His "game", at least the portion I gleaned from the interview, is mostly "inner game", i.e. focusing on the confidence plus that "je ne sais pas" factor that makes some guys truly great with women, but he gives some good examples and ideas for a mindset that will help you when interacting with an attractive high-value woman. I didn't know much about Zan before, but I have alot of respect for him. The conference he is holding in Vancouver this weekend should be pretty good.
Game Status
I’m in the process of jump-starting my game once again. Basically, I just want to open, talk to strangers, male or female, and get my AA under control. Two weeks ago in Vancouver, I opened a tons of sets. Then I came back to Seattle and lost all the momentum. I hit Belltown last weekend both Friday and Saturday and opened some sets, none of them went stellar it helped my state, and I regained some momentum. Unfortunately I was also drinking which probably didn’t help matters. Sunday I did a half-dozen day-game sets, again nothing with great results. I know from experience though that’s how it goes in the beginning. Yesterday I opened a girl in this hip-hop dance class I’m taking (yes, you read that correctly…more on that later), then chatted up a Korean hired-gun at a local sushi place. I think this last girl hooked, and I probably could have #-closed her pretty solidly. I didn’t realize this until I left however, and in the midst of the sarge I couldn’t really navigate my way to a solid close. But, it was my best interaction via a (relatively) cold approach in a while, and she was pretty cute (the miniskirt didn’t hurt either).
Where are the Girls?? Taking Hip-Hop Dance Lessons!
So I’ve been taking this hip-hop dance class…on one level, it’s kind of ridiculous: I’m late 30s, and a guy, and here I am in this class with 2 other guys (early 20s I assume) and about 20 girls. Yes, you read that correctly, there is about a 10-to-1 girl to guy ratio in this class. Most of the girls are under 25. Holy leotard Batman! Basically, I enrolled for a couple reasons…one was to push my comfort zone (check), another was to actually learn some dance moves for when I’m at a club and doing dance-floor game (jury is out on this one) or if I actually end up fronting a band someday (a dream of mine), I figured it’d come in handy on-stage. Last night was class 3, and on the way out I talked to one of the girls. She “hooked” and we talked about dancing and salsa for a while, but I didn’t take the interaction as far as I could have (this is a SP…need to really push this to improve).
Anyone interested in taking a hip-hop class? Contact me…it’d be more fun with another community guy…we may look ridiculous, but HEY, we're talking a ratio of 10-to-1 girls to guys…kind of like a parallel-universe version of Amber!
Zan
Yesterday I was listening to the David D interview with Zan. I was quite impressed. His "game", at least the portion I gleaned from the interview, is mostly "inner game", i.e. focusing on the confidence plus that "je ne sais pas" factor that makes some guys truly great with women, but he gives some good examples and ideas for a mindset that will help you when interacting with an attractive high-value woman. I didn't know much about Zan before, but I have alot of respect for him. The conference he is holding in Vancouver this weekend should be pretty good.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Attention PU Instructors…
Attention PU Instructors and self-proclaimed gurus : before you take guys’ money for teaching PU, please do this…
I have no problems with guys who have knowledge, experience, and in-field ability teaching PU to other guys. There certainly are a lot of AFC guys out there who need help to improve their lives in this area, and if you can effectively guide them toward reaching their goals, then you have every right to charge $ for it and possibly make a living doing so.
That said…
I’m very skeptical of many self-proclaimed “instructors” out there. I don’t want to name any in particular, but most of the ones I’m referring to live in Vancouver, BC and market aggressively. Now, to be fair, I haven’t seen you guys in action. I’ve seen you on a local daytime news show, where you were less than impressive IMO, doing a very bad job at controlling your frame vis-à-vis the woman interviewing you. Still, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
The bottom line is, if you want to teach PU, you should be good at PU. This means: ===> you should be able to go out to a bar, club, and/or café, open almost any set (mixed or all-female), and get some solid #-closes. If you are in a club or a bar like Amber, the occasional kiss-close or make-out 30-minutes in wouldn’t hurt either. <=== I guarantee that if you put on a demonstration like this you would not have any touble getting clients and you’d be guaranteed to keep a good rep among the lair guys you are advertising to.
As to the guys thinking of taking bootcamps or lessons with a PU instructor, before doling out any cash, I would first ask them to put on a FREE demonstration similar to what I described, to prove they can walk the walk not just talk the talk.
My 2-cents.
Mack
I have no problems with guys who have knowledge, experience, and in-field ability teaching PU to other guys. There certainly are a lot of AFC guys out there who need help to improve their lives in this area, and if you can effectively guide them toward reaching their goals, then you have every right to charge $ for it and possibly make a living doing so.
That said…
I’m very skeptical of many self-proclaimed “instructors” out there. I don’t want to name any in particular, but most of the ones I’m referring to live in Vancouver, BC and market aggressively. Now, to be fair, I haven’t seen you guys in action. I’ve seen you on a local daytime news show, where you were less than impressive IMO, doing a very bad job at controlling your frame vis-à-vis the woman interviewing you. Still, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
The bottom line is, if you want to teach PU, you should be good at PU. This means: ===> you should be able to go out to a bar, club, and/or café, open almost any set (mixed or all-female), and get some solid #-closes. If you are in a club or a bar like Amber, the occasional kiss-close or make-out 30-minutes in wouldn’t hurt either. <=== I guarantee that if you put on a demonstration like this you would not have any touble getting clients and you’d be guaranteed to keep a good rep among the lair guys you are advertising to.
As to the guys thinking of taking bootcamps or lessons with a PU instructor, before doling out any cash, I would first ask them to put on a FREE demonstration similar to what I described, to prove they can walk the walk not just talk the talk.
My 2-cents.
Mack
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Pushing One's Comfort Zone is the Fastest Way to Progress
An excellent personal trainer I recently started working with has this theory about destroying bad habits and developing new, better ones. As it relates exercises for improving body posture and mechanics, he said it takes about 5000 reps until you really unlearn the bad habits. However, if you increase the resistance and can be super-focused on maintaining correct form, you can reduce this to maybe 2000. I believe this analogy holds in other areas, and of course can be applied to pick up. I can talk to 10,000 HB7 2-sets over the next few years and yeah my game will probably improve, but I won't be pushing my comfort zone (the equivalent of adding resistance). However, if I regularly open HB8+ sets and larger sets, mixed sets, even if I am crashing and burning the sets, my game will inevitably improve.
With that in mind...
Last night was a mix of success and failure. The success came in the form of a solid #-close on a HB8. However, I was not able to stay in state and failed to take advantage of what was a very good night in Capitol Hill in terms of the # of HBs out and about.
I started off at Café Vita where I met up with SeattleWilly & Suave. Our first stop was a club down the street, which was surprisingly packed for 9:30 in the evening. The music was on the loud side but there were HBs galore, many mixed sets of course but some all-chick groups as well. SeattleWilly grabbed a table in the corner next to a 3-set, proceeded to open them. They were all sitting in a row on a long open booth against the wall and he was to their right, but Suave and I were on the other side and it was too loud to talk with the other 2 girls from where we were so there wasn’t much we could do. After one girl got up, I saw an opportunity and sauntered over to sit next to the other girl. So now in a line it’s SeattleWilly, HBRings (she had tons of rings), HBCousin (she was cousins with the 3rd girl, HBItalian, who was off at the bar or some place), and me. I opened HBCousin and we started chatting. She was cute but only about a 6. Her cousing, HBItalian, was an 8 and she immediately caught my eye when we first sat down…she was the one I really wanted to talk with.
After a few minutes HBItalian comes back. American-born but Italian heritage, and she bears a resemblance to Penelope Cruz. I ask to be introduced, then I notice her ring and I go into ring finger routine with kino. I’m sitting on the bench, with HBCousin next to me and HBItalian standing in front of me…good positioning as I’m locked in. After a couple minutes I tell HBItalian to have a seat and now I’m between them…psych! I focus on HBItalian from here, transitioning to Juggler-style “Appreciate and Relate”. I was getting some mild IOIs, and after about 20 minutes went for the time bridge and #-closed. She offered to type her name into my phone so I think it was a pretty solid one.
The club was LOUD and my voice was giving out. I did manage to open two other sets, one was a HB8 in a mixed group but it didn’t hook…I didn’t crash and burn but just hesitated after the opener, at which point her friend immediately pulled her back into her “closed group”. Need to be quicker on my feet, and in a place like this more high energy.
My state was pretty good at this point, but after early success such as a solid #-close I get somewhat content and stop pushing myself. Which sucks because as we walked out and headed to Barca there was a HB9 tall Asian all alone smoking in the parking lot. We were standing righ next to her and I didn’t open! Aaagghhh! So we head to Barca and now I’m pissed at myself for not opening her and it’s kind of killing my state. My wings only have about 20 minutes until they have to bail. We get to Barca and that place is hoppin too…more HBs than usual. I want a beer and the line is long. I chat with an average-looking girl in line, but by the time I get my drink my wings have left. I see sets to open but I hesitate, and then I fall into the “falling state – losing social value” cycle. I should have just said fuck it and opened any set just to get back into state but couldn’t quite do it. I think my mindset was too “outcome dependent”. At this point, I just need to say “screw it”, go in and crash and burn…it’s the only way to push my comfort zone and get better at this. My failure which I mentioned above was not so much not hooking sets, as it is I didn’t even make an attempt in Barca. I’m making a note of this and going to try to improve it next time out.
With that in mind...
Last night was a mix of success and failure. The success came in the form of a solid #-close on a HB8. However, I was not able to stay in state and failed to take advantage of what was a very good night in Capitol Hill in terms of the # of HBs out and about.
I started off at Café Vita where I met up with SeattleWilly & Suave. Our first stop was a club down the street, which was surprisingly packed for 9:30 in the evening. The music was on the loud side but there were HBs galore, many mixed sets of course but some all-chick groups as well. SeattleWilly grabbed a table in the corner next to a 3-set, proceeded to open them. They were all sitting in a row on a long open booth against the wall and he was to their right, but Suave and I were on the other side and it was too loud to talk with the other 2 girls from where we were so there wasn’t much we could do. After one girl got up, I saw an opportunity and sauntered over to sit next to the other girl. So now in a line it’s SeattleWilly, HBRings (she had tons of rings), HBCousin (she was cousins with the 3rd girl, HBItalian, who was off at the bar or some place), and me. I opened HBCousin and we started chatting. She was cute but only about a 6. Her cousing, HBItalian, was an 8 and she immediately caught my eye when we first sat down…she was the one I really wanted to talk with.
After a few minutes HBItalian comes back. American-born but Italian heritage, and she bears a resemblance to Penelope Cruz. I ask to be introduced, then I notice her ring and I go into ring finger routine with kino. I’m sitting on the bench, with HBCousin next to me and HBItalian standing in front of me…good positioning as I’m locked in. After a couple minutes I tell HBItalian to have a seat and now I’m between them…psych! I focus on HBItalian from here, transitioning to Juggler-style “Appreciate and Relate”. I was getting some mild IOIs, and after about 20 minutes went for the time bridge and #-closed. She offered to type her name into my phone so I think it was a pretty solid one.
The club was LOUD and my voice was giving out. I did manage to open two other sets, one was a HB8 in a mixed group but it didn’t hook…I didn’t crash and burn but just hesitated after the opener, at which point her friend immediately pulled her back into her “closed group”. Need to be quicker on my feet, and in a place like this more high energy.
My state was pretty good at this point, but after early success such as a solid #-close I get somewhat content and stop pushing myself. Which sucks because as we walked out and headed to Barca there was a HB9 tall Asian all alone smoking in the parking lot. We were standing righ next to her and I didn’t open! Aaagghhh! So we head to Barca and now I’m pissed at myself for not opening her and it’s kind of killing my state. My wings only have about 20 minutes until they have to bail. We get to Barca and that place is hoppin too…more HBs than usual. I want a beer and the line is long. I chat with an average-looking girl in line, but by the time I get my drink my wings have left. I see sets to open but I hesitate, and then I fall into the “falling state – losing social value” cycle. I should have just said fuck it and opened any set just to get back into state but couldn’t quite do it. I think my mindset was too “outcome dependent”. At this point, I just need to say “screw it”, go in and crash and burn…it’s the only way to push my comfort zone and get better at this. My failure which I mentioned above was not so much not hooking sets, as it is I didn’t even make an attempt in Barca. I’m making a note of this and going to try to improve it next time out.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Sinn on "What the Community Should Be"
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2007/08/what-community-should-be.html
Thank you Sinn. I couldn't agree more...
Thank you Sinn. I couldn't agree more...
Set Unrealistic Goals -- become a PUA Guru!
Want to become a Master PUA? Good!
No sarcasm. I’m serious. If you are learning pickup, in “the game”, your goals should be set very high. In fact, this applies to any pursuit, something I learned reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. From his chapter titled “System Reset”:
Will I become a PUA guru like Mystery or Juggler? I doubt it. It’s possible but not likely. I will admit though that the possibility, however small, is a very strong motivation. More likely is that I will sleep with a string of HB9s and maybe even a 10, and who knows maybe find the woman of my dreams some day. The point here is, I will have made substantial progress in my romantic dealings with women compared to a couple years ago, and that is a very very good thing.
Finally, keep in mind that learning pickup requires dealing with failure. We will crash and burn many many many sets before seeing any consistent improvement. If you’ve ever gone surfing, you’ve experienced this learning curve. You’re going to fall off the board dozens of times before you get your first 1-second ride while standing. And after that you will wipe out dozens more times before you are able to stand for 2 seconds. If you are doggedly stubborn and don’t give in, however, you will eventually be able to enjoy nice long rides while waving to tanned girls in bikini thongs.
Don’t dream small, and then…yes, you can have it all.
Mack
ps -- As for those few guys who encourage you to "think small"...you know, the guys who are constantly whining about all the "losers" in the community, how you should be "normal" and just "have fun"...remember the 'sour grapes' syndrome. They have given up on themselves, or have a hidden agenda, or both. It kills them to see other guys succeeding, or even failing and having fun with it. They flame and harass those of us working hard at pickup and dealing with its challenges. I ask these guys to open their eyes and see what they are truly doing. I for one would welcome them back if they reform their attitude (yes, I'm a softie). Until then, it's best to simply ignore them, we have better things to do with our time.
[ref 1: Timothy Ferris, The 4-Hour Work Week, p. 50]
No sarcasm. I’m serious. If you are learning pickup, in “the game”, your goals should be set very high. In fact, this applies to any pursuit, something I learned reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. From his chapter titled “System Reset”:
“Having an unusually large goal is an adrenaline infusion that provides the endurance to overcome the inevitable trials and tribulations that go along with any goal. Realist goals, goals restricted to the average ambitionlevel, are uninspiring and will only fule you through the first or second problem, at which point you throw in the towel." [ref 1]I have experienced this firsthand, both in the realm of pickup and in other areas. My major SP right now in PU is not going for very hot girls and just sticking to 7s, which I’m usually comfortable approaching and to be honest pretty good at seducing by now. I read Tim Ferris’ book last month and I realized why I am stuck and what I need to do. Basically, I should stop putting “realistic” limits on my goals, which as an actionable item means I’ve got to start opening HB9s and 10s.
Will I become a PUA guru like Mystery or Juggler? I doubt it. It’s possible but not likely. I will admit though that the possibility, however small, is a very strong motivation. More likely is that I will sleep with a string of HB9s and maybe even a 10, and who knows maybe find the woman of my dreams some day. The point here is, I will have made substantial progress in my romantic dealings with women compared to a couple years ago, and that is a very very good thing.
Finally, keep in mind that learning pickup requires dealing with failure. We will crash and burn many many many sets before seeing any consistent improvement. If you’ve ever gone surfing, you’ve experienced this learning curve. You’re going to fall off the board dozens of times before you get your first 1-second ride while standing. And after that you will wipe out dozens more times before you are able to stand for 2 seconds. If you are doggedly stubborn and don’t give in, however, you will eventually be able to enjoy nice long rides while waving to tanned girls in bikini thongs.
Don’t dream small, and then…yes, you can have it all.
Mack
ps -- As for those few guys who encourage you to "think small"...you know, the guys who are constantly whining about all the "losers" in the community, how you should be "normal" and just "have fun"...remember the 'sour grapes' syndrome. They have given up on themselves, or have a hidden agenda, or both. It kills them to see other guys succeeding, or even failing and having fun with it. They flame and harass those of us working hard at pickup and dealing with its challenges. I ask these guys to open their eyes and see what they are truly doing. I for one would welcome them back if they reform their attitude (yes, I'm a softie). Until then, it's best to simply ignore them, we have better things to do with our time.
[ref 1: Timothy Ferris, The 4-Hour Work Week, p. 50]