No sarcasm. I’m serious. If you are learning pickup, in “the game”, your goals should be set very high. In fact, this applies to any pursuit, something I learned reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. From his chapter titled “System Reset”:
“Having an unusually large goal is an adrenaline infusion that provides the endurance to overcome the inevitable trials and tribulations that go along with any goal. Realist goals, goals restricted to the average ambitionlevel, are uninspiring and will only fule you through the first or second problem, at which point you throw in the towel." [ref 1]I have experienced this firsthand, both in the realm of pickup and in other areas. My major SP right now in PU is not going for very hot girls and just sticking to 7s, which I’m usually comfortable approaching and to be honest pretty good at seducing by now. I read Tim Ferris’ book last month and I realized why I am stuck and what I need to do. Basically, I should stop putting “realistic” limits on my goals, which as an actionable item means I’ve got to start opening HB9s and 10s.
Will I become a PUA guru like Mystery or Juggler? I doubt it. It’s possible but not likely. I will admit though that the possibility, however small, is a very strong motivation. More likely is that I will sleep with a string of HB9s and maybe even a 10, and who knows maybe find the woman of my dreams some day. The point here is, I will have made substantial progress in my romantic dealings with women compared to a couple years ago, and that is a very very good thing.
Finally, keep in mind that learning pickup requires dealing with failure. We will crash and burn many many many sets before seeing any consistent improvement. If you’ve ever gone surfing, you’ve experienced this learning curve. You’re going to fall off the board dozens of times before you get your first 1-second ride while standing. And after that you will wipe out dozens more times before you are able to stand for 2 seconds. If you are doggedly stubborn and don’t give in, however, you will eventually be able to enjoy nice long rides while waving to tanned girls in bikini thongs.
Don’t dream small, and then…yes, you can have it all.
Mack
ps -- As for those few guys who encourage you to "think small"...you know, the guys who are constantly whining about all the "losers" in the community, how you should be "normal" and just "have fun"...remember the 'sour grapes' syndrome. They have given up on themselves, or have a hidden agenda, or both. It kills them to see other guys succeeding, or even failing and having fun with it. They flame and harass those of us working hard at pickup and dealing with its challenges. I ask these guys to open their eyes and see what they are truly doing. I for one would welcome them back if they reform their attitude (yes, I'm a softie). Until then, it's best to simply ignore them, we have better things to do with our time.
[ref 1: Timothy Ferris, The 4-Hour Work Week, p. 50]
