I realized it’s been about two weeks since my last post. A new contract job I started last week has eaten up a lot of my time, so I’m trying to wake up early and get a lot of stuff done before heading to work up in Bothell. BTW, the one advantage of a long car commute is that it actually frees up time to listen to CDs I’ve had lying around for a year, including a ton of David D interviews…but more on that later.
Game Status
I’m in the process of jump-starting my game once again. Basically, I just want to open, talk to strangers, male or female, and get my AA under control. Two weeks ago in Vancouver, I opened a tons of sets. Then I came back to Seattle and lost all the momentum. I hit Belltown last weekend both Friday and Saturday and opened some sets, none of them went stellar it helped my state, and I regained some momentum. Unfortunately I was also drinking which probably didn’t help matters. Sunday I did a half-dozen day-game sets, again nothing with great results. I know from experience though that’s how it goes in the beginning. Yesterday I opened a girl in this hip-hop dance class I’m taking (yes, you read that correctly…more on that later), then chatted up a Korean hired-gun at a local sushi place. I think this last girl hooked, and I probably could have #-closed her pretty solidly. I didn’t realize this until I left however, and in the midst of the sarge I couldn’t really navigate my way to a solid close. But, it was my best interaction via a (relatively) cold approach in a while, and she was pretty cute (the miniskirt didn’t hurt either).
Where are the Girls?? Taking Hip-Hop Dance Lessons!
So I’ve been taking this hip-hop dance class…on one level, it’s kind of ridiculous: I’m late 30s, and a guy, and here I am in this class with 2 other guys (early 20s I assume) and about 20 girls. Yes, you read that correctly, there is about a 10-to-1 girl to guy ratio in this class. Most of the girls are under 25. Holy leotard Batman! Basically, I enrolled for a couple reasons…one was to push my comfort zone (check), another was to actually learn some dance moves for when I’m at a club and doing dance-floor game (jury is out on this one) or if I actually end up fronting a band someday (a dream of mine), I figured it’d come in handy on-stage. Last night was class 3, and on the way out I talked to one of the girls. She “hooked” and we talked about dancing and salsa for a while, but I didn’t take the interaction as far as I could have (this is a SP…need to really push this to improve).
Anyone interested in taking a hip-hop class? Contact me…it’d be more fun with another community guy…we may look ridiculous, but HEY, we're talking a ratio of 10-to-1 girls to guys…kind of like a parallel-universe version of Amber!
Zan
Yesterday I was listening to the David D interview with Zan. I was quite impressed. His "game", at least the portion I gleaned from the interview, is mostly "inner game", i.e. focusing on the confidence plus that "je ne sais pas" factor that makes some guys truly great with women, but he gives some good examples and ideas for a mindset that will help you when interacting with an attractive high-value woman. I didn't know much about Zan before, but I have alot of respect for him. The conference he is holding in Vancouver this weekend should be pretty good.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Attention PU Instructors…
Attention PU Instructors and self-proclaimed gurus : before you take guys’ money for teaching PU, please do this…
I have no problems with guys who have knowledge, experience, and in-field ability teaching PU to other guys. There certainly are a lot of AFC guys out there who need help to improve their lives in this area, and if you can effectively guide them toward reaching their goals, then you have every right to charge $ for it and possibly make a living doing so.
That said…
I’m very skeptical of many self-proclaimed “instructors” out there. I don’t want to name any in particular, but most of the ones I’m referring to live in Vancouver, BC and market aggressively. Now, to be fair, I haven’t seen you guys in action. I’ve seen you on a local daytime news show, where you were less than impressive IMO, doing a very bad job at controlling your frame vis-à-vis the woman interviewing you. Still, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
The bottom line is, if you want to teach PU, you should be good at PU. This means: ===> you should be able to go out to a bar, club, and/or café, open almost any set (mixed or all-female), and get some solid #-closes. If you are in a club or a bar like Amber, the occasional kiss-close or make-out 30-minutes in wouldn’t hurt either. <=== I guarantee that if you put on a demonstration like this you would not have any touble getting clients and you’d be guaranteed to keep a good rep among the lair guys you are advertising to.
As to the guys thinking of taking bootcamps or lessons with a PU instructor, before doling out any cash, I would first ask them to put on a FREE demonstration similar to what I described, to prove they can walk the walk not just talk the talk.
My 2-cents.
Mack
I have no problems with guys who have knowledge, experience, and in-field ability teaching PU to other guys. There certainly are a lot of AFC guys out there who need help to improve their lives in this area, and if you can effectively guide them toward reaching their goals, then you have every right to charge $ for it and possibly make a living doing so.
That said…
I’m very skeptical of many self-proclaimed “instructors” out there. I don’t want to name any in particular, but most of the ones I’m referring to live in Vancouver, BC and market aggressively. Now, to be fair, I haven’t seen you guys in action. I’ve seen you on a local daytime news show, where you were less than impressive IMO, doing a very bad job at controlling your frame vis-à-vis the woman interviewing you. Still, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
The bottom line is, if you want to teach PU, you should be good at PU. This means: ===> you should be able to go out to a bar, club, and/or café, open almost any set (mixed or all-female), and get some solid #-closes. If you are in a club or a bar like Amber, the occasional kiss-close or make-out 30-minutes in wouldn’t hurt either. <=== I guarantee that if you put on a demonstration like this you would not have any touble getting clients and you’d be guaranteed to keep a good rep among the lair guys you are advertising to.
As to the guys thinking of taking bootcamps or lessons with a PU instructor, before doling out any cash, I would first ask them to put on a FREE demonstration similar to what I described, to prove they can walk the walk not just talk the talk.
My 2-cents.
Mack
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Pushing One's Comfort Zone is the Fastest Way to Progress
An excellent personal trainer I recently started working with has this theory about destroying bad habits and developing new, better ones. As it relates exercises for improving body posture and mechanics, he said it takes about 5000 reps until you really unlearn the bad habits. However, if you increase the resistance and can be super-focused on maintaining correct form, you can reduce this to maybe 2000. I believe this analogy holds in other areas, and of course can be applied to pick up. I can talk to 10,000 HB7 2-sets over the next few years and yeah my game will probably improve, but I won't be pushing my comfort zone (the equivalent of adding resistance). However, if I regularly open HB8+ sets and larger sets, mixed sets, even if I am crashing and burning the sets, my game will inevitably improve.
With that in mind...
Last night was a mix of success and failure. The success came in the form of a solid #-close on a HB8. However, I was not able to stay in state and failed to take advantage of what was a very good night in Capitol Hill in terms of the # of HBs out and about.
I started off at Café Vita where I met up with SeattleWilly & Suave. Our first stop was a club down the street, which was surprisingly packed for 9:30 in the evening. The music was on the loud side but there were HBs galore, many mixed sets of course but some all-chick groups as well. SeattleWilly grabbed a table in the corner next to a 3-set, proceeded to open them. They were all sitting in a row on a long open booth against the wall and he was to their right, but Suave and I were on the other side and it was too loud to talk with the other 2 girls from where we were so there wasn’t much we could do. After one girl got up, I saw an opportunity and sauntered over to sit next to the other girl. So now in a line it’s SeattleWilly, HBRings (she had tons of rings), HBCousin (she was cousins with the 3rd girl, HBItalian, who was off at the bar or some place), and me. I opened HBCousin and we started chatting. She was cute but only about a 6. Her cousing, HBItalian, was an 8 and she immediately caught my eye when we first sat down…she was the one I really wanted to talk with.
After a few minutes HBItalian comes back. American-born but Italian heritage, and she bears a resemblance to Penelope Cruz. I ask to be introduced, then I notice her ring and I go into ring finger routine with kino. I’m sitting on the bench, with HBCousin next to me and HBItalian standing in front of me…good positioning as I’m locked in. After a couple minutes I tell HBItalian to have a seat and now I’m between them…psych! I focus on HBItalian from here, transitioning to Juggler-style “Appreciate and Relate”. I was getting some mild IOIs, and after about 20 minutes went for the time bridge and #-closed. She offered to type her name into my phone so I think it was a pretty solid one.
The club was LOUD and my voice was giving out. I did manage to open two other sets, one was a HB8 in a mixed group but it didn’t hook…I didn’t crash and burn but just hesitated after the opener, at which point her friend immediately pulled her back into her “closed group”. Need to be quicker on my feet, and in a place like this more high energy.
My state was pretty good at this point, but after early success such as a solid #-close I get somewhat content and stop pushing myself. Which sucks because as we walked out and headed to Barca there was a HB9 tall Asian all alone smoking in the parking lot. We were standing righ next to her and I didn’t open! Aaagghhh! So we head to Barca and now I’m pissed at myself for not opening her and it’s kind of killing my state. My wings only have about 20 minutes until they have to bail. We get to Barca and that place is hoppin too…more HBs than usual. I want a beer and the line is long. I chat with an average-looking girl in line, but by the time I get my drink my wings have left. I see sets to open but I hesitate, and then I fall into the “falling state – losing social value” cycle. I should have just said fuck it and opened any set just to get back into state but couldn’t quite do it. I think my mindset was too “outcome dependent”. At this point, I just need to say “screw it”, go in and crash and burn…it’s the only way to push my comfort zone and get better at this. My failure which I mentioned above was not so much not hooking sets, as it is I didn’t even make an attempt in Barca. I’m making a note of this and going to try to improve it next time out.
With that in mind...
Last night was a mix of success and failure. The success came in the form of a solid #-close on a HB8. However, I was not able to stay in state and failed to take advantage of what was a very good night in Capitol Hill in terms of the # of HBs out and about.
I started off at Café Vita where I met up with SeattleWilly & Suave. Our first stop was a club down the street, which was surprisingly packed for 9:30 in the evening. The music was on the loud side but there were HBs galore, many mixed sets of course but some all-chick groups as well. SeattleWilly grabbed a table in the corner next to a 3-set, proceeded to open them. They were all sitting in a row on a long open booth against the wall and he was to their right, but Suave and I were on the other side and it was too loud to talk with the other 2 girls from where we were so there wasn’t much we could do. After one girl got up, I saw an opportunity and sauntered over to sit next to the other girl. So now in a line it’s SeattleWilly, HBRings (she had tons of rings), HBCousin (she was cousins with the 3rd girl, HBItalian, who was off at the bar or some place), and me. I opened HBCousin and we started chatting. She was cute but only about a 6. Her cousing, HBItalian, was an 8 and she immediately caught my eye when we first sat down…she was the one I really wanted to talk with.
After a few minutes HBItalian comes back. American-born but Italian heritage, and she bears a resemblance to Penelope Cruz. I ask to be introduced, then I notice her ring and I go into ring finger routine with kino. I’m sitting on the bench, with HBCousin next to me and HBItalian standing in front of me…good positioning as I’m locked in. After a couple minutes I tell HBItalian to have a seat and now I’m between them…psych! I focus on HBItalian from here, transitioning to Juggler-style “Appreciate and Relate”. I was getting some mild IOIs, and after about 20 minutes went for the time bridge and #-closed. She offered to type her name into my phone so I think it was a pretty solid one.
The club was LOUD and my voice was giving out. I did manage to open two other sets, one was a HB8 in a mixed group but it didn’t hook…I didn’t crash and burn but just hesitated after the opener, at which point her friend immediately pulled her back into her “closed group”. Need to be quicker on my feet, and in a place like this more high energy.
My state was pretty good at this point, but after early success such as a solid #-close I get somewhat content and stop pushing myself. Which sucks because as we walked out and headed to Barca there was a HB9 tall Asian all alone smoking in the parking lot. We were standing righ next to her and I didn’t open! Aaagghhh! So we head to Barca and now I’m pissed at myself for not opening her and it’s kind of killing my state. My wings only have about 20 minutes until they have to bail. We get to Barca and that place is hoppin too…more HBs than usual. I want a beer and the line is long. I chat with an average-looking girl in line, but by the time I get my drink my wings have left. I see sets to open but I hesitate, and then I fall into the “falling state – losing social value” cycle. I should have just said fuck it and opened any set just to get back into state but couldn’t quite do it. I think my mindset was too “outcome dependent”. At this point, I just need to say “screw it”, go in and crash and burn…it’s the only way to push my comfort zone and get better at this. My failure which I mentioned above was not so much not hooking sets, as it is I didn’t even make an attempt in Barca. I’m making a note of this and going to try to improve it next time out.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Sinn on "What the Community Should Be"
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2007/08/what-community-should-be.html
Thank you Sinn. I couldn't agree more...
Thank you Sinn. I couldn't agree more...
Set Unrealistic Goals -- become a PUA Guru!
Want to become a Master PUA? Good!
No sarcasm. I’m serious. If you are learning pickup, in “the game”, your goals should be set very high. In fact, this applies to any pursuit, something I learned reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. From his chapter titled “System Reset”:
Will I become a PUA guru like Mystery or Juggler? I doubt it. It’s possible but not likely. I will admit though that the possibility, however small, is a very strong motivation. More likely is that I will sleep with a string of HB9s and maybe even a 10, and who knows maybe find the woman of my dreams some day. The point here is, I will have made substantial progress in my romantic dealings with women compared to a couple years ago, and that is a very very good thing.
Finally, keep in mind that learning pickup requires dealing with failure. We will crash and burn many many many sets before seeing any consistent improvement. If you’ve ever gone surfing, you’ve experienced this learning curve. You’re going to fall off the board dozens of times before you get your first 1-second ride while standing. And after that you will wipe out dozens more times before you are able to stand for 2 seconds. If you are doggedly stubborn and don’t give in, however, you will eventually be able to enjoy nice long rides while waving to tanned girls in bikini thongs.
Don’t dream small, and then…yes, you can have it all.
Mack
ps -- As for those few guys who encourage you to "think small"...you know, the guys who are constantly whining about all the "losers" in the community, how you should be "normal" and just "have fun"...remember the 'sour grapes' syndrome. They have given up on themselves, or have a hidden agenda, or both. It kills them to see other guys succeeding, or even failing and having fun with it. They flame and harass those of us working hard at pickup and dealing with its challenges. I ask these guys to open their eyes and see what they are truly doing. I for one would welcome them back if they reform their attitude (yes, I'm a softie). Until then, it's best to simply ignore them, we have better things to do with our time.
[ref 1: Timothy Ferris, The 4-Hour Work Week, p. 50]
No sarcasm. I’m serious. If you are learning pickup, in “the game”, your goals should be set very high. In fact, this applies to any pursuit, something I learned reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. From his chapter titled “System Reset”:
“Having an unusually large goal is an adrenaline infusion that provides the endurance to overcome the inevitable trials and tribulations that go along with any goal. Realist goals, goals restricted to the average ambitionlevel, are uninspiring and will only fule you through the first or second problem, at which point you throw in the towel." [ref 1]I have experienced this firsthand, both in the realm of pickup and in other areas. My major SP right now in PU is not going for very hot girls and just sticking to 7s, which I’m usually comfortable approaching and to be honest pretty good at seducing by now. I read Tim Ferris’ book last month and I realized why I am stuck and what I need to do. Basically, I should stop putting “realistic” limits on my goals, which as an actionable item means I’ve got to start opening HB9s and 10s.
Will I become a PUA guru like Mystery or Juggler? I doubt it. It’s possible but not likely. I will admit though that the possibility, however small, is a very strong motivation. More likely is that I will sleep with a string of HB9s and maybe even a 10, and who knows maybe find the woman of my dreams some day. The point here is, I will have made substantial progress in my romantic dealings with women compared to a couple years ago, and that is a very very good thing.
Finally, keep in mind that learning pickup requires dealing with failure. We will crash and burn many many many sets before seeing any consistent improvement. If you’ve ever gone surfing, you’ve experienced this learning curve. You’re going to fall off the board dozens of times before you get your first 1-second ride while standing. And after that you will wipe out dozens more times before you are able to stand for 2 seconds. If you are doggedly stubborn and don’t give in, however, you will eventually be able to enjoy nice long rides while waving to tanned girls in bikini thongs.
Don’t dream small, and then…yes, you can have it all.
Mack
ps -- As for those few guys who encourage you to "think small"...you know, the guys who are constantly whining about all the "losers" in the community, how you should be "normal" and just "have fun"...remember the 'sour grapes' syndrome. They have given up on themselves, or have a hidden agenda, or both. It kills them to see other guys succeeding, or even failing and having fun with it. They flame and harass those of us working hard at pickup and dealing with its challenges. I ask these guys to open their eyes and see what they are truly doing. I for one would welcome them back if they reform their attitude (yes, I'm a softie). Until then, it's best to simply ignore them, we have better things to do with our time.
[ref 1: Timothy Ferris, The 4-Hour Work Week, p. 50]